First Day at Day Care

Today was amazing.

We brought crayons and paper to color with the kids. Below is Anita, the teacher who runs the center. There has not been a volunteer here for over a year.Here I am (total germ freak) wiping off their hands with my sanitizing wipes from my purse. OMG were they filthy. The kids were really interested in this though, so it was fun.

We were served "lunch" by the teacher. Which was a bowl of rice. Here is her cooking station in a corner of the room. (Which is the entire day care).Melissa and I were just in total shock to see the little girl in red Mahalak, inhaled her bowl. Then went and got another bowl full. It's sad to think what she gets/doesn't get at home.

And here you can see Priti's underwear... with a huge hole in them. Uh.

Tomorrow we were told there will be 8-9 kids.

The teacher knows about 20 words, so this is definitely going to be a challenge.

Look at this face. This little girl was so sad. One thing she thought was funny was we brought a picture book with a cat. And she pointed and smiled and said, "bille" "bille" which is cat in hindi.We were told though that we can paint the walls! OMG! (Me... purple and green office... hello!!) I'm totally psyched about this. Melissa said she's not that creative. I told her don't you worry girl, I got you! Right up my alley.

And we are discussing which one of us gets to bring which girl back to the US with us. Ha ha ha!

More tomorrow!

Love, Janel

So Here I Sit in My Head

Finally made it to Palampur. The weather is so beautiful. I also am in total bliss because I get my own room for a whole week! Thank god! I am so fricking psyched. It’s 12:20 in the morning and I am sitting here writing on my laptop and listening to music with my light on. Everyone else has been asleep in their respective shared rooms for the last couple hours.

I am sitting here and thinking. Peace and quiet. Away from Delhi. The heat. The noise. ALL the constant irritations.

But I feel alone. For the first time some of my problems I had in the US are coming back to me. I haven’t had the time or energy to think about them until now. And I do not like thinking about it.

Calm is good, but my real life… uh. That’s why I liked India so much before, it just feels like a totally different world here, where I could escape.

I am not sure if that’s going to work this time.

I was told we end our work day at 12:30 here. Apparently, the schools and orphanages all close at that time because the hours are enforced by the government. That gives a lot of free time. Time to do whatever. And time for my problems to come back to the surface.

What I know:
What's created, can’t be erased. What has happened cannot change.

What’s best for me. What’s best for him. Whatever that is… I want.

I want to go back.

And for him to see me like he did before, but nothing like he did before.

I want to erase.

I have better decisions now.

Clearer decisions.

I want to do things differently.

I know I can’t.

And I’m not even sure I’ll get the chance to. I’m not sure I deserve it anyway.

How did I get here?

I never meant it and I never saw it coming.

I was irresponsible. But it’s not who I am. Please know this.

What’s wrong with me? How come I couldn’t just see? And now that’s all I want. It’s all I think about.

I think something’s wrong with me.

I don’t like where I’ve been the past 9 months, I know that.

Life is amazing. There is so much out there. Here I sit, in India. But I have no one here to share it with me. It’s not the same

To grow and become stronger. I hope smarter too.

I really needed a friendly voice tonight. I called 2 people and neither answered, and I’m super annoyed I spent probably 24 rupees on these calls – lol – so if I called you – feel special.

Kathy, so nice to hear your voice. I’m remembering what you said and am going to try not to be so hard on myself (all around). Afterall, it’s only been a week. I can’t expect everything I’ve come here for to get done in only 7 days.

Love, Janelle

Airplane Food

Yummy!!!!!!!

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Kidding.

Uh Sorry for the sideways photo again... I don't have time or really know how to fix it :(

Love, Janelle

Outing with Yadaav

OK this post I wrote awhile ago... It's the first time in a few days I've had access to internet. But I'm going to put it up anyway. The next few are also a little bit old. But please read anyway. LOL.

So this is the guy from the spa who remembered me from two years ago. We had made arrangements to go out to dinner this evening.

I went to the pool to meet him, where he was drinking beer with 2 policemen. Ah…. (?) This kind of freaked me out a little and I was like “Crap, what am I doing?” He offered me a beer, to which I declined.

Then we left and went to a restaurant very close by. While we were eating he made a phone call, no idea what he was saying. He ordered several dishes and drinks for us. Then when we were almost done a man came in and handed him 500 rupees. I just figured it was someone who owed him money (turns out it was his brother – he tells me this later). Well the bill came and he paid for it. I offered to pay, but he wouldn’t hear of it.

Then I told him I needed help with my phone, buying more minutes and didn’t want to get ripped off. “No problem maam.” And he takes me to the phone store, we go in and chit chat with the owner, who quickly uploaded minutes onto my phone at the Indian (real) price.

Then I told him the water in the hotel is so expensive – like 4 X what it should be. He then replies, “So we will go and buy water for you to take back to hotel.” Oh, I’m thinking, good idea! So we stop, he tells me to wait in the car, he hops out and comes back with 2 huge waters and a Pepsi in a bag. Hands it to me and says to put it in the fridge in my room. Lol. I went to give him money and he refused.

He then tells me he feels it’s his duty to be good to foreigners and treat them right. He said there are so many “clever” people in India who only want to take advantage of tourists, and this is not right. He also said on TV it is constantly telling the Indian people to treat foreigners right so they return to India.

So grateful for the help and hospitality I was given tonight.

Love, Janelle

P.S. I was texting and calling Sean througout the whole thing though. Initially starting with his license plate, after seeing the movie Taken - which TOTALLY freaked me out. We talked about this in February that before I got into any car I'd text him the license. He's so cute. Love you babe. I know it probably wouldn't have helped much, but it did make me feel safer.

Volunteer Horror Story (Not Mine)

Well anyway, tonight I hear one of the girls was assaulted on a city bus Friday AND was walking to her placement and someone threw a huge rock at her head, that nearly missed her. This poor girl has to travel an HOUR each way on the city bus in order to get to her volunteer site. 3 men attacked her on the city bus (pulled her hair, ran their fingers up her pants and grabbed her breasts) while everyone on the bus stood and watched and did nothing. She told the conductor on the bus and he also did nothing. OMFG. I am so sorry this happened to her. I can’t imagine. I asked if she was going to go home and Melissa said as of Fri night she was contemplating what to do.

This poor girl also has had all these idiots make comments to her while walking to her site, “White whore” and then some idiot walked up to her and just said, “Doggie style” and walked away.

I don’t know. Carrie & Katie had been called “Sexy Mama” on their first day in the slums. Which is laughable. But uh… I can’t deal with stuff like that. I’m glad nothing like that has happened to me. Delhi is/was definitely a slap in the face. And not in a good way.

Love, Janelle

The Luggage

So here’s a shot of our luggage getting piled on top of the vehicle to get to the airport this morning. OMG! I was freaking out like there’s no tomorrow, and thinking of course, it’s going to be my suitcase that will fall off. And I have hardcase suitcases, so they’re going to break for sure.

Joe told me I was at a 10 and he needed me at like a 6. Lol. But not to worry, the man on the right had some thin little rope to tie all our bags down with.

Anyway…….I am SO glad that nothing happened and the bags got there fine.

Oh yes, more importantly…………we got to Dharamsala just fine.

We parted ways to our new buddy, but gave him my Indian cell. He and his group are going to be there for a few weeks and we briefly discussed getting together next weekend, because we were planning on going that way. I know I’ve only been here a week, but honestly, it was so nice to talk to another American outside of our “group”. So hopefully plans will work out next weekend.

Love, Janelle

"Housekeeping"

Last night in the hotel we had (I am NOT kidding) probably 10 interruptions within an hour of getting in our room. They were as follows:

1. Knock at the door to give us a “mineral water”.
2. Knock at the door to give us a “filtered water”.
3. Knock at the door to give us toilet paper.
4. Knock at the door to give us towels.
5. Phone call to tell us when dinner was.
6. Knock at the door to offer us beer or wine.
7. Knock at the door (mistakenly) to give us a beer that we did not order.
8. Crank call.
9. Knock at the door to ask if everything was ok.
Damn………. I can’t get to # 10. If I’d written this last night I know I would have. I can’t remember, but I’m sure there were more.

So my two thoughts on this are 1: The hotel was almost empty, and the staff is bored. 2. They were excited to have 2 white girls staying and anything they could think of to come by and be helpful, they did.

Sooooooo…………FUNNY STORY here. This morning we get a call at 8 am to tell us to come down for breakfast. Uh! We were fricking sleeping…….I’m super irritated at this point. Then a couple minutes later someone knocks on the door and I’m like, “Are you fricking kidding me?” (Outloud.) Then they keep knocking saying “housekeeping”, and my swearing continues – literally- as I get up out of bed and am swearing to the door. They keep saying “housekeeping” and I reply as I’m unlocking the door “Yeah, I know, we’re fricking sleeping!” (Ok that was a lie, I said fucking sleeping.) I open the door and here stands Joe… lol, lol, lol, lol. It’s amazing how I can go from super pissed off to laughing my ass off in a matter of seconds.

Hilaaaaaaaarious.

Love, Janelle

And Our Worst Nightmare Came True

Today Sarah and I are at the Delhi Domestic Airport waiting to fly out to Dharamsala. We were discussing how overjoyed we were to be leaving this city and I can’t remember which…, oh yes, it was me, who said, “It would be like our worst nightmare to have to stay in Delhi.” As we got onto the plane Sarah remarked and waved, “Goodbye Delhi heat.”

Well, low and behold… we fly ALL the way to Dharamsala and the pilot announces it isn’t safe to land and we are headed back to Delhi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMFG.

So here we are back in Delhi. At the airport a super duper fellow (with spectacular shoes might I add) started chatting with me about our current situation. Helped me get some guidance on wtf to do and said he’d see me at the hotel later.

So… yes, Sarah and I taxi-d it to this hotel that the airline put us up in. It’s air-conditioned (at least the rooms are – the hallways are not). So it could definitely be worse. They told us our other option would have been to get a taxi and drive … get ready… 12 hours to Dharamsala. F- that!?!?!

Also, they said they could not “guarantee” the plane will land even tomorrow. Apparently today was dejavu of yesterday. The pilot flew all the way to Dharamsala and determined it wasn’t safe to land……and turned back for Delhi. Crossing our fingers for tomorrow… I figure what are the chances of this happening 3 days in a row?

We had dinner at the hotel tonight. After dinner our new found friend, Joe, came to our room and we exchanged pleasantries with him - lol. He seems pretty hilarious and I won’t say too much more because I know he’s probably super stalking me online right now – ha ha ha – JK, Joe. Or I should say will be once he gets some sleep. He had just got to Delhi, then took this flight with us to Dharamsala for the hell of it to turn back around, after traveling the trip HERE from Kansas (which omg… that in and of itself is dreadful).We ordered a beer which was a long drawn out process. I ‘ll spare you the details, let’s just say it was a several step process to get one beer for Sarah and I to share.

Anyway, speed up to the present moment, we are safe and sound – double locked into our room. I just got off the phone with my dad to wish him a happy birthday. Tomorrow we do not fly out until 2:30 so we have time to kill. Not sure what we’ll end up doing, but it definitely could be worse. We’re grateful for the air-conditioning, beds and clean sheets. Oh and shower.
And PS my worst nightmare would actually be going back to Rajiv’s! This, (air-conditioned hotel and real bed) I can definitely deal with.

Love, Janelle